Ok ok ok hang on. First considering hitmen: Some of them are very real, although i have no idea how to tell the scammers from the real ones, but there are real ones on tor. The majority might be scammers. The real ones are also pretty goddamn expensive, so no good way of killing yourself, also you wouldnt see it coming so youll live with this threat over your head without control, not a suicide i would find particularly depressing. The best suicide is in switzerland, but thats pretty expensive as well, but they offer a luxury death so to speak.

And more importantly considering the suicide thing: I have been were you are, EXACTLY where you are, especially when it comes to girls and thinking others where better off without you and so forth. There is a way out, i guarantee it. And you are right now extremely close to getting out of your bad state. I'll explain how I did it. You probably feel that you are really really worthless, that your life is not worth preserving. If you feel that way you can get an enormous freedom from that state, heres why. If you feel about yourself that way, why worry? Why give a shit about getting rejected, losing a job, being homeless even getting killed. You are so goddamn free right now and dont even know it. I completely stopped caring about myself which resulted in intense freedom. You might as well be free of worries of the future, of the economy, of wars, of relationship stuff because you arent concerned with your own survival anymore! You can relax, stop worrying about stuff and make a completely new start. There is a lot more to this, so if you want to chat about it pm me, and I'll offer my help, and how i overcame a lot of the shit you're dealing with right now. But for now keep on living, maybe just out of curiosity about how the world is going to turn out in the future, stay as a guest, as a watcher. An acquaintance of mine just kept living because she wanted to know how the harry potter books would end. Best of luck