Assuming you are naked and unarmed, what is the biggest animal you think you could beat in a fight to the death?

oh man I was unknowingly prepped for this thread years ago. I KNOW I can take down a full grown ostrich naked. Let that sink in. Story: When I was in HS I was at a party with some friends and got wasted, being rural KS the party took place in the middle of nowhere in a field. Some buddies thought it would be funny to strip me down and leave me knowing I would have to make the 3 mile trek back to my house with nothing but my kicks on. So I wake up, still a little drunk, kind of put together the situation I'm in, and set off walking. Turns out the field we had crashed was some kind of wildlife preserve with emus, antelope and other assorted animals that had no earthly business in Kansas. So I'm walking, plotting revenge and I notice a pack of ostriches a few hundred yards away making their way towards me (guessing they thought I was the grain man or whatever the hell they eat). So I pick up the pace a little but I'm in no condition to run and don't want to risk breaking an ankle in a prairie dog hole so I keep an eye on them and do the senior citizen mall power walk but like those lovable geriatrics I'm soon over taken and semi surrounded. So this big one starts kinda pecking at me (for food I assume) but at this point I'm literally at a stop with my left hand over my dick employing the defensive turtle shell technique and my right hand trying to shoo them away. Now I can tell you about cows, chickens, horses and other general farm animals but I know fuck all about ostriches except the fact they can run really fast (I think right?) so I figured my best course of action was to try to scare em off. So I throw up my hands and jump around yelling trying to make myself as big as possible. Wrong decision. Next thing I know this thing is fucking beating me down with its fucking head/neck thing and I realize that under NO circumstances can I allow myself to die at the hands of an ostrich, naked in a field in KS so I start to take some swings but I'll admit I'm not a boxer and punching what is essentially a cobra on top of a giant chicken is a lot harder than one would think so I attempt to tackle it thinking if I can get it down I would have a chance, my 10 weeks of Judo training in 4th grade kicked in and I took out the legs and tried to jump on it. Wrong again, turns out people ride these things, my 180lb isn't shit compared to the leg and neck muscles on those things so it starts to stand up and I'm falling off. Afraid I'm on my way to getting stomped out and becoming the subject of the most hilariously tragic obituary in KS history I grab it in a neck-lock(???? think headlock but around its neck) and as its standing up I get it's head in the joint of my elbow and just start wailing on this things head, squeezing as hard as I can until I hear the pop I'm looking for and the thing stops moving. The entire confrontation probably lasted about 5 minutes if I had to guess but I really don't have a clue. About 30 seconds later several of my friends pull up to the scene of a 6'4 black guy with blue dreads, sitting next to a dead ostrich covered in blood, feathers, dirt and chaff questing what life choices lead me to this. Apparently they had been watching from the tree line the entire time but had to drive around the drainage ditch to get to me. And that boys and girls was how I was dubbed Birdman, but was ultimately grounded for a month and had to pay for the ostrich.

tl;dr Left in a field naked as a prank, ostrich decides he doesn't like the way my dick swings and assaults me. I murder it.

/r/AskReddit Thread