Yo! I've been in almost the exact same situation; it was a little over a year ago. After years of depression, deep self-hatred, and suicidal thoughts, I finally broke and swallowed a bunch of pain pills. I completely overlooked the fact that I wouldn't immediate die from it, nor did it even do any significant damage. I said my goodbyes to my friends, and someone called the cops on me. They found me in my apartment. I still feel like a moron for the way I did it. I really wasn't thinking at all, but I woke up that day in a terrible mindset, having a panick attack, and decided that it was going to be the day. I really didn't plan it through, and I felt humiliated. I was taken to the hospital where someone watched me at all times. Even in the restroom. Then after getting cleared from the regular hospital, I was sent to the fucking mental hospital. That fucking hellhole of a place. It was seriously the worst time of my life. When I finally got out after being in there for over a week, everything was just weird. How does a person in that situation move on? Everyone knew of what I had done, and it was just embarrassing. I kept getting asked if I did it for attention or as a cry for help. That just made me feel a lot worse, and I even started to ask myself the same thing after being questioned so much. Things are still awkward although it has been over a year. I wish I could forget all about it, or make everyone else forget that it happened. And after all that, being in the mental hospital, getting forced into therapy, seeing a psychiatrist....I STILL do not appreciate my life. I'm in this weird state where I don't really feel much of anything at all. I just live each day and wait for my end to come. I pretty much have accepted that this is the way that I'm always going to be. I'm not going to further than that because you don't need to hear about my problems. I just wanted to share a little bit of my similar experience. I truly hope that life gets better for us and people like us.