Why do I attract toxic female supervisors?

If you don't enforce standards or boundaries. This creates the negative interactions.

Have you ever confronted anyone on their misbehavior? Have you ever stopped gossip in its tracks? Have you ever stood up for yourself and what you bring to the workplace as an employee and demand to be treated with dignity and respect? Have you ever left a job after being mistreated?

Abusive people need a target/outlet. But they have to test the waters first. What is happening to you is, repeatedly you have overlooked these test shots, and thus become a viable target. You have to set the tone on what you will tolerate from others at the outset. Otherwise, they'll set the tone, and you it's possible, if they're abusive, that you won't like it.

What you need to do is to ALWAYS SPEAK UP for yourself immediately, and directly. It is okay to say no, or offer alternatives. Make it known that will not be a target, nor will you tolerate mistreatment. Know your rights and the law, and above everything else, keep your options for work open and change employers if you need to (I know, it's hard, and should be the last choice, but please keep as a viable option). But some women have a hard time with new women in their workspace, especially if alot of men are around.

Lastly, don't be bothered by gossip about you. Actually, you shouldn't even care if your coworkers even like you tbh. As long as you can peacefully do your work successfully, that's all you need. This means that they should be treating you cordially, and with respect. If they do that, but gossip - the gossip is out of your control. But if their behavior is harming your work performance, you have to get it to stop. Likeability is a tricky thing, and many women focus on it far too much. Men don't care who likes them or not in their workplaces. What matters is your working relationship. If it's good, the likeable aspect will come. But that is built on respect, so focus on that vs. being liked.

I say this as a woman with a few decades of work experience from active duty military, to retail, to fast food, to health care, to corporate office. I have worked MANY different places. With women as supervisors, and as one myself. I've worked in wonderful places, and some hell holes too.

/r/jobs Thread