I'm super gay and I never want to have sex with someone I haven't even talked to yet. I can't even find someone attractive until I get a sense of their personality. That's why my crushes always start off with me not thinking much of them (cus I don't know them yet) and then suddenly BAM it hits me and they look like the most beautiful, sexy woman I've ever seen. So attraction to women doesn't always have to be instant and obvious.

I was unsure of my sexuality until age 27. It didn't take any more hooking up to figure it out (I'd been with a few men and women), but just realising that all the stuff I thought was me being attracted to guys actually didn't mean I wasn't gay. Like I got small crushes on guys so I thought I couldn't be lesbian, but then I realised they were totally non-sexual (it was mostly because I wanted to be like them in some way) and also straight women get crushes on women. And that I exclusively fantasised about women and couldn't even understand how sex with a guy was sexy. (It took ages for that to click, because I had so many straight friends who also didn't think sex was sexy.)

And here's the thing, I actually had everything I needed to know I was gay, from the second I started liking girls at age 11. I easily could have known long before I hooked up with anyone. Because all I thought about was girls, and my crushes on them were a million times stronger than with guys! But was hidden from me consciously until I was ready to accept it. I was clinging on to the bi label cus I felt safe. Everyone I knew who identified as bi only dated guys, knew they were going to marry a guy, never had to come out to their families, and were treated like straight people. So I liked hiding in that crowd. The thought of 100% having a gay wedding and gay family (and therefore having to tell my family beforehand) terrified me. But I'm so glad I'm out now!