Fuck mate, reading that you sound so much like me. Its a bit of a crack up actually to read because i really could see myself saying all those exact things.
Sounds like you are doing well..
I've had a bit going on lately so have been up and down. TBH I did have a bag of AIP's most expensive coke which took me a while to get through but that went last week and i had some fentanyl in a nasal spray which Ran out Monday morning. So Monday lunch - now I have been withdrawing, It hasn't been too bad but my mind is focused on "should I get more?".
I only get mild withdrawals from abusing codeine so I have had 2 x 150 mg cold water extractions this week and some valium to help ease the "Should I just buy more?" question which lingers in my mind all the time. Lets say funds are available if so that is not the issue preventing me from getting on.
I don't actually follow any of those other subreddits but I will check them out some time. I think I'm not committed right now because I do like drugs as an out let but the day has to come where I am like fuck it, that is it, no more..
Having said that I am a 20 year user of Meth which I have recently stopped and will never go back to. I feel lucky to be a survivor of such long term abuse of meth that I need no other reason to stop. Im done with it because it will eventually fuck my life. Which currently I have been able to avoid and maintain my health in the process.
Ive considered a GP for the opiate ceasation but Im not ready as to be honest if they said here is a methadone program for me I could possibly be happy with the result. Which I am not sure if that's what I really want..
Either way man, I am glad you seem to be having a positive time thus far and are sounding committed to making a change.
Your usage habits almost mirror mine, even down to the adhd diagnoses as an adult. ;) Though I don't medicate for that nor do I see Doctors any more for that. Ritalin was good short term and I could easily get Dex if I went back but really, sounds like a step in the wrong direction.
With regard to withdrawing from opiates, in my case, Oxy, Codeine, Hammer very occasionally and fentanyl (very regularly) I find it goes like this for me. Day 1 and 2 increasing depression, difficultly sleeping, thinking about getting more to ease the mental anguish. Day 3 - 5 I get feverish, hot cold, feel like I have a flu, depression eases slightly but sleep is near impossible, body pains, specifically in my legs. Days 6 on wards things start improving vastly.
In saying that I need valium to sleep and end up taking rather large doses if needed, this also helps block my mental throught pattern of getting more gear, it kind of temporarily eliminates it for me. by day 6 onwards ( kind of where I am now) I seem to be in a much better state and a little valium here and there doesn't hurt, even a low 30 mg dose of codeine here and there helps too. Then I either am good for a bit or get onto something, just not meth anymore. I have also been avoiding Herion and Oxy for the last 2 weeks which has helped alot.
Keep in touch , Its always good to share an experience with someone who understands and is going through similar situations.