I dont connect with anyone. Im never really involved even in small chit chat. Im always the quiet one. When I was in Junior High, the other kids bullied me and said I was a witch. Some girl at our school died of a heart failure issue and I never even met her or knew who she was but people were going around saying I cursed her and made her die. As a child, school was difficult and I was put into special learning classes and special day care where I was taught to be more "normal"...But Ive always struggled. I was always bullied and a victim of physical violence from other girls so it was difficult. Im 30 now and did not age like my peers. I appear a lot younger. My demeanor is of a teenager and my voice very child like. This throws people off. Im also very small... 4 ft 11" lol. People are like "No way you are 30. Nice try." it can be so demeaning at times. Im also still interested in things I was as a kid, like I collect disney things, and have an unhealthy obsession with all things Titanic, Marine Biology, The little mermaid, Tamagotchis (they are useful for routine keeping and helping with stimming) and people just shake their head. Im not interested in adult things like "Love island" or whstever it is people watch on TV these days. Im always shy and quiet, and even if I did approach someone for small talk, theyd have to be someone I feel comfortable with who shares a common interest. Ive been let down so many times now, I give up. Its worse when youre attractive too, NTs have this "idea" in their mind what someone who is Autistic is like and usually its wrong and theyre disrespectful. I knew a guy who was also an aspie, but he was much lower on the spectrum and suffered with hygeine a lot. He died young, sadly but I remember him having the same taste in music as me so we would talk for hours about that. He had NT flat mates who treated him like garbage, and made me realize its better to not let people know unless you have to. Let them just be forced to accept you for who you are...I have found NTs to be seriously lacking in empathy for us. I go to an Asperger's support group but none of the other aspies there have anything in common with me other than being diagnosed so I dont engage or socialize outside the group setting which is overseen by a psychiatrist.