So as I said above, my baby sister is a competitive climber, and I like to go to the climbing gym with her whenever I have the chance. Not only because I like to keep an eye on her, but because it's actually a really good full-body workout. On this particular Friday night, BabySis was working on a few routes (I don't know the technical term for them, sorry) that had been causing her some grief. As the big brother, I had the job of belaying her, making sure she doesn't fall and get hurt should she slip. BabySis is taking a minute to chalk-up, when suddenly the door to the gym slams open, and there stands ClimbingHam in all her sweaty glory. Now, I never really understood the comparison of fat people's legs to cottage cheese until I saw this monstrosity. Yoga pants at least two sizes too small, and a tiny running top that probably wouldn't have held my man-boobs in, let alone her sacks of fat. She came lumbering into the gym and stood by the front desk catching her breath before ringing the help bell incessantly. (The way the gym is set up most of the staff are also coaches so there isn't really someone at the desk all the time, hence the bell.) By the time someone came to help her she was already in a bad mood, throwing attitude at the poor guy behind the desk. Unfortunately I didn't really get to hear what was said between her and the coach (henceforth simply referred to as Coach1) except I did her her whine about the shoes he got her being too tight. The thing about climbing shoes is that they're meant to be tight, BabySis wears shoes two sizes smaller than her street shoes and her feet are messed up when she takes the shoes off. But I digress. One Coach1 finally found a pair of shoes she deemed acceptable, she was forced into a harness. This was one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed, this massive woman trying to squeeze herself into an obviously too small harness. When it didn't fit she appeared to wink at poor Coach1 and say something along the lines of "I guess this wasn't made for real women" he just grabbed her a men's harness, without saying anything and managed to extend it to fit her mammoth girth. By this time BabySis has finished her route and I've lowered her down, and she's taking a break, laying down with her feet up on the wall (remember what I said about tight shoes?)when ClimbingHam waddles towards us. She proceeds to ask me if I can "rope her up so she can climb." I told her no, since I was already belaying BabySis, and told her to go find a coach, who would be able to help her with some safety training. She went off muttering, and BabySis got back on the wall, ready to conquer her next route. (Here comes the good stuff) The next thing we knew ClimbingHam was climbing UNDERNEATH BabySis (and by climbing I do mean holding onto a few very easy holds and panting). BabySis screamed at her to get off the f*cking wall, since it's obviously unsafe to climb under someone. ClimbingHam proceeded to hop off the wall and tell me that the coach had told her that she didn't need to be belayed if she was climbing less than 12 feet (which is true but you DON'T CLIMB UNDER SOMEONE ELSE) BabySis finished her route and as soon as her too-tight shoes hit the floor she started berating ClimbingHam with all the force of a pissed-off Hispanic mother. Keep in mind that while taller than ClimbingHam, BabySis is super tiny, so it looked rather like a small tree yelling at a bowling ball. She told ClimbingHam that you can NEVER climb under someone, wether you're being belated or not, and that the route was a particularly technical one and she (ClimbingHam) could have really hurt herself. ClimbingHam responded with the classic "Whatever, anorexic bitch." To which BabySis calmly retorted "I may be anorexic, but at least I don't look like a bloated whale carcass. If you aren't going to climb safely I'm going to ask one of the coaches to get you to leave." Because she is a regular, and a damn-good climber, all the coaches are pretty fond of BabySis, so when they heard this a group of three came rushing over and asking if there was a problem. After BabySis explained what happened ClimbingHam was escorted from the building, wailing about how she should get her money back.