I'm sure that dogs of all ages can be anxious. But his age exacerbated things in many ways for us. Older dogs are harder to train--and yes, we did try to train him. We spent a lot of money on vet visits, on toys, on anxiety medication. We spent hours trying to teach him not to bowl me over and not to whine. We bought treats and collars and leader leashes. If we had lived anywhere near a dog trainer, we would have taken him there as well. But he was very stuck in his ways and needed more help than we could give.

Another thing that may not have come across is that this dog was a physical danger to me. It couldn't exactly stand on its hind legs and put its paws on my shoulders, but it was close. I'm a 5' woman, and this was an overweight, fully grown, very powerful dog. I'm under no illusions, I know I was too passive and that's why the dog didn't respect me. But logically knowing what the problem is and addressing it were two very different things. This dog broke doors and metal bars, and it left bruises and drew blood on me. The idea that this dog could do serious bodily harm to me if it got too agitated was not anxious paranoia, it was a fact. It's hard to put that out of your mind when you're trying to order it around.

If we had gotten a puppy with anxiety, the problem would not have been anywhere near as bad. It just wouldn't. I wouldn't have been afraid of a puppy-sized dog, which means that I would probably have been much more successful in showing dominance and getting it to respect me. The anxiety would not have been exacerbated by years of going in and out of shelters, and the puppy wouldn't have 9 years of reinforcement for bad behavior. Of course there would still be problems, and it would still be stressful. But the fact that the dog was older made things a lot worse than they could have been.

TLDR: You're right, I was too passive. And I'm sure I made mistakes. What I'm trying to convey with my post isn't that the dog was beyond help, it's that I was incapable of giving it the help it needed. But I disagree that puppies and 9 year old adult dogs cause equal problems, if nothing else just because I would not have been afraid of the size and strength of a puppy.