3. Ballad of the BP Millenial

Ballad of the BP Millenial

Yeah. I feel the same way sometimes. But at this moment, I don't feel bad for myself at all, and you shouldn't either. Because the truth is, nobody knows what the fuck is going on. Not your mom, not your dad, not my mom, not the Dalai lama, not even the president have all the answers. Trust me. We're all just drifting on this big blue planet wondering what were all here for. Some people get lucky and attach themselves strongly to a religious belief that gives them a feeling of a higher purpose, some don't. Some people are born rich. Some people get raped by their uncles when they're 14 years old. I just heard a girl on loveline with that story tonight. Ain't life grand? The point is that their probably is no point to all of this. Sad truth is that you kinda gotta just accept that and get over it. If there is one its just simply to love one another and forgive one another as much as possible. I'm not sure if you've ever been in love with someone but it's a pretty damn good feeling to lie next to a woman (or man, whatever your into) and truly love that person. I met my nephew a few months back and that was pretty damn joyful too. I don't know if this helps at all, but that's my two cents.

Also, during my psychotic breakdown, I spent a month wandering in the desert, hopping on trains occasionally. Now, I hadn't eaten or slept in about 5 days at this point, so take it for with a grain of salt but as we traveled through somewhere in new mexico, I hallucinated a warm blue light surrounding me that I interpreted at the time to be sent by god himself. It was the single most joyful,blissful, nirvana-like feeling I have ever felt before or since. I dont think anything will ever compare to what that felt like. It was better than any orgasm, better than anything imaginable. To this day, just the memory of it fills me with some good feelings. Even though I was psychotic at the time, I still believe that if I live my life as a good person, some day I'll get that feeling back; forever.

Anyway, sorry for the long winded diatribe and I don't know if any of that helps, but it's 3:00 am, and I'm manic.

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