Y'know, I'm gonna hate myself for actually writing this, but a similar scenario happened with me but I could never consider it as rape or anything of the sort because everything was telling me that I wanted it, but I didn't. I was of age, I was lonely, she was attractive, so why wasn't I happy when it happened? Because everything I've been taught since I was a kid was telling me to be excited but I was terrified and sad. Even my body was telling me to do it, but I didn't want to. I was just a piece of meat that night and I could never get over it. I've tried my best to repress it, but it never seems to really go away. I never talk to anyone about it because they usually think I'm gloating about getting laid, but I really didn't want to do what I did that night.

Thank you for this video. It helps a little.