Fuck it. Here goes. I love my wife to death. We’ve been married a decade, and are very happy.

But...years ago, we were drinking and got into a huge fight. I couldn’t even tell you exactly how it went down, but amidst the fight, she was talking upset because it’d been a while since we’d fucked. So she started playing with my dick and I told her to knock it off. But she kept going, and eventually was riding me as I lied there motionless.

Yes, I could have forced her off of me. Yes, I could have objected louder and yelled. Yes, I could have done A LOT OF THINGS differently to stop it from happening. But the bottom line is that she knew I didn’t want it, and did it anyways.

Now, do I compare my experience to more traumatic episodes many other have gone through? Absolutely not. But what I can tell you, is that I now understand in a wholly different way how these things can happen. I was almost paralyzed. I was so confused about what to do that I did nothing and hoped it would end. It was so bizarre to me that it was happening, despite my obvious ability to end it.

I hope people understand how important consent...ongoing consent...is. It may have been fine every day for the last 6 months, but you have no right the next time. Obviously consent can vary per your relationship, but the point is you must always be certain, and make sure you are open enough to allow your partner the ability to decline.

I can only imagine how many women have been raped by someone they know, possibly well, where that person has no idea they even did it.