Bat Boy, 9, Dies After Being Struck by Player's Swing

This will get buried. But it reminds me of the most morbid story of survival I personally know of.

I am a comedian in Detroit. A man named S (I'll just use an initial just out of respect to him) is mentally retarded, yet comes to every single show at a few of the venues in the city. He always comes to the bar with us after, hoping that tonight will be the night he '...gets a girlfriend.'

When S was around 8-9 years old, his brother hit him in the head with a baseball bat by mistake. As a result, he became 'trapped' in his current 30 year old body with the intelligence of an 8 year-old kid.

His lack of social proneness caused a lack of security as well. He used to roam the streets of Detroit at 3 AM. He'd always have stories about getting mugged, however he would never really have anything on him to actually get stolen.

He'd always flirt with the girls. It is quite entertaining to see a girl respond to him, always as if they are calming an overeager puppy dog. One girl he had a crush on used to drive an old Lincoln. S used to refer to her as his 'Girlfriend,' which was a fun little bit we used to exaggerate to annoy her and entertain him.

One night, S saw a Lincoln parked someone near a bar in Detroit we used to frequent. He approached it thinking it was his 'Girlfriend,' and even started knocking on the windows with excitement.

Turned out there was a drug deal going down in that very car. The startled driver pulled out a sawed off shotgun and shot S in the chest, nearly at point blank range.

Somehow, he survived it.

Before I knew the specifics to his story, I used to poke fun at him while he poured his mentally-ill heart out at the bar about how all he wants is a girlfriend. Now, I just listen, and contemplate my own existence.

/r/MorbidReality Thread Link - nbcsandiego.com