BEARDFORGEN 158/18

Been told today that since I don't look like a baboon with a beard up to my cheekbone like the 70's drawing in the dress manual, I would probably be deemed an "unsuccessful attempt". My beard goes one inch above my jawline, and I would probably need 1½ - 2 inches to have this perfect hipster beard they are looking for. Everything else is a thick bushy beard.

They need to understand that it's not just a fashion thing. Shaving to military standard (against the grain) fucking hurts. I'm in pain every single morning of my life trying to shave. I need to carefully handpick my razors and shaving cream to avoid getting a swollen face with pus blisters across my face after 5 days of shaving. I'm using facewash, face disinfectant and moisturizing cream and I bought a safety razor. This is the magic combo that makes shaving tolerable most of the time. I'm still going through hell right now because it's the season change. Yup, I could probably get a PCAT, but I really don't want to because of the career opportunities that I may lose as a result. I can suck it up, become muslim or buy blackmarket rogaine.

In any decent world where people use their damn judgement, I could keep a neatly trimmed beard and it would never be a problem for anyone. Nobody would tell me I'm "unsuccessful" at growing a beard. FFS, even if I could just keep a short stub and not shave against the grain, it would make a world of difference.

So yeah, Beardforgen my ass. If you're making a policy to raise people's morale and you leave out 20-30% people out of it (including most asians and first nations) because of a drawing from the 70's, it's going to have the exact opposite effect. It’s pretty much like « Hey let’s all go to Disneyland and have a great time. Except you Bloggins, fuck you».

I hope the « clarifications » every single chain of command is apparently waiting for will include a guideline on what is a successful beard. In my mind, everything that even remotely looks like a beard should be acceptable. If not, we are missing the whole point of the Beardforgen, which is to raise people’s morale to increase retention.

I guess I’ll go disinfect my razor for my morning mutilation ritual...

/r/CanadianForces Thread Parent