beat your kids for the well-being of society

While my parents spent years physically abusing me the neglected to notice that two of my cousins sexually abused me for years also. Then when I came out my mother absolutely did everything she could to ruin my life including being extremely close to one of my abusers. Only after my brother said the same thing happened to him did she start to believe my parents beat the living shit out of me for things as simple as not finding their shoes keys wallet fast enough. I’m almost 52 now and both my parents have recently apologized for the abuse and I have accepted their apologies for them and for myself. I can tell you that I’m pretty well adjusted but I always wasn’t. Something as simple as spilling coffee in the floor could launch me in to a rage where I destroyed everything around me or been angry for hours and not being able to find my wallet or keys still brings a sense of dread and makes me and my mind literally spin. It definitely affected my life in every aspect. I had to actively work and sometimes still work at it. The fact that I never put a gun in my mouth and blow the back of my head off is a major accomplishment. The fact that I was able to forgive was another huge accomplishment for me. Plenty of people who are beat and or abused don’t turn out well adjusted. It’s great if someone was able to but I can tell you there are definite scars and trauma that stay with you for your life. Try and find what works for you. Forgiveness worked for me. That and the constant mindfulness of my reactions and why I am having them.

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