I have to ignore their suffering.

Newb.

Never ignore their suffering. Cultivate it. Use it. Grow strong in their anguish. Their suffering is a blessing to you. It's a warm fuzzy glow. It's power radiating through your entire being. It's your career.

You know how IT would work if users didn't suffer? A dozen integrators and service providers would show up for projects and upgrades. The rest of us would be unemployed. Their suffering sets you free if you know how to use it.

The first key is to know a PEBKAC fault (problem exists between keyboard and chair) from a systems fault. When it's a systems fault? You fix that shit. That's what you're for. And you reward them when they come to you with a systems fault. You encourage them to follow procedure and do their job and know what they're doing so that they can help you do your job by informing you of real issues and not creating bullshit ones.

When it's a PEBKAC fault? You establish the relationship. You establish your power. You set expectations. When a user comes to you with a PEBKAC fault - you encourage them to do better next time - you encourage them to not break your bloody system again. When they don't learn at an adequate speed, you punish them, you use their suffering as a lever to drive them into better habits.

Your rewards and punishments should be irregular - sometimes you should be effusive and grateful. Sometimes you should make sure that they get the next nice set of monitors that comes in. Sometimes you just say thank you, and sometimes you do nothing - this isn't day care. But you want them to know that when they do the right thing, it makes you happy, and when you're happy, they should be happy.

When you punish them - sometimes you should berate them. Sometimes you should reallocate the things they like but don't need. Like Ram. While they're out of the office. Restrict their access. Generally, make them understand that being a problem and a pain in your ass makes you sad, and when you're sad, they should be both sad, and frightened. But still, irregular, sometimes say nothing - let them be grateful for your mercy and owe you something for not crushing them.

Be disproportionate with your responses. This isn't meant to be fair. This is meant to corral your users into a useful form. You don't want them learning that being kind of a pain in your ass might be worth it so they can be a bit lazy. You want them to value your happiness as much, if not more than they value their own. And you want them to want to avoid wasting your time you as much as they want to avoid bad things happening to themselves. You have important redditing to do - you are there to manage the system, not handhold incompetence. So their can't be a clear scale of fuckup to penalty, or good behavior to reward.

And remember - positive and negative - sometimes you give them something, sometimes you take it away. Punishment and Reward. Sometimes you give them a headache. Sometimes you give them access to facebook. Sometimes you take away the speakers that their neighbour uses to play country music. Sometimes you take away their speaker so they can't play country music.

The key however to all of these things? Is to remember that the system, is you. It has to work. It has to be robust. You have to be good at your job - or you don't have the power to do any of these things. And when the system is at fault? That's when you suffer. So you make sure every I is dotted and every T is crossed and you have it all in writing that your shit is together and every problem that remains is outside of your control and you're ready to fix it as soon as they give you the authority to make it happen. Without that moral highground - they'll never learn their place at your feet.