Thank you. It has honestly been a more painful betrayal than with N dad because I guess I always thought that mom & I were a team. So realizing that I was her emotional lackey was very painful.
I'm doing well in that I've emotionally detached from her drama, but in some ways I'm still mourning the real mom I wish I could have had. But such is life--if I ever have kids I'll be that real mom myself.
Unfortunately the one month this has all blown up is also the same month that I'm in between therapists, & had to deal with a psychotic roommate situation in addition to the bitter end of my first serious relationship, without much support.
Instead of suffering in silence I took a big step & reached out to my network of friends to help me through the weekend when everything blew up. In a heartbeat my weekend & week filled up with plans with friends, even ones I barely knew outside of a group setting reached out. I almost cried more from being so touched by their kindness than from the pain I was going through.
I have never felt so loved & supported as in this last week & I think it is what has helped me through processing all of this the most. There are people out there who will genuinely care & want to support you, & who will be there when it counts the way you have been for them.
Getting a new therapist this week. I feel stronger for having opened up & let myself be vulnerable with the friends I care about. It also helped me weed out a few friends who were not supportive. I cannot wait to work on myself & my friendships & develop a life & friend "family" that makes me happy.
Thank you so much for your comment & I hope that you are doing well & have continuing support too.