Hey girl in two months it will be a year until my ex took my virginity in a bad part of town and I dropped him off somewhere and never heard from him again. We were both crazy and together for a year but that's the longest I've been in. He was my first everything besides kissing. I met him on his work release at 19 he was 21 and had a lot of potential. Unfortunately he's an addict combined with being charged as an adult at 17 so prison was all he knew. I used to have nightmares of him holding me in the back of my car talking until we fell asleep. He wanted to get married in a courthouse and start over. The hardest thing to watch was him slip and me not knowing what to do. He married someone else and went back to drugs and prison. I was really naive and looking back he did me a favor by leaving. Yet I continued to deteriorate mentally and have to take meds and try to be a good person and contribute to society. People tell me all the time I literally dodged a bullet but it's hard to forget what we had and who he could have been. I guess what I'm trying to say is you're not alone. And that it's important to realize that sometime's people fuck up and don't come back and move on and that it's okay and not your fault. It's up to you to not let it consume you or get in your head. It's a good thing to be alone for a while and work on loving yourself instead.