I’m just being honest with the couple. No one reasonable can expect a definitely Yes or No at this point. Just because a wedding might be allowed, doesn’t mean I will agree to attend it. I’m smoothing it over with “of course I’d love to attend and I’ll save the date” but being clear that this isn’t a guarantee.

My stance is that if things are like they were back in August, I’d probably attend a close friend’s wedding ceremony and meal if they had appropriate social distancing. I’d play it by ear whether we stayed for the reception (depends how drunk people are, how many people I know I trust there, how people are behaving).

If they needed a firm answer now, I’d say no. I don’t want to say yes and waste their money. There’s always the possibility that they could try to add us on later if things improve (we could do that with our wedding, but I wouldn’t be offended if they couldn’t).

For non close friends, I’m just declining straight away. I’d also decline hen parties no matter how close I am to the bride- you cannot trust large gatherings of drunk and excited people to be responsible. Even without alcohol, most hen party activities I’ve heard of involve close contact (sharing an air bnb, doing classes together, dining together etc) and I just don’t want to risk that at all.