It's been a year, I really need help

Shits real dude, I feel you there. Only three weeks of NC for me so far and a month since I've seen her in person.

I've slept with five girls in the past month and each one has made me feel shittier than the previous. Getting over someone else has nothing to do with getting laid, even if she's already moved on herself and enjoying her new sexual experiences.

We need to focus on ourselves, the root of our desires, outside of the prism of our relationship with our exes. My ex is incredible in many ways. I hate the way this Sub tries to demonize those that broke our hearts. People are just people, trying to find what makes them happy, and in her instance, being with me was not right for her, who am I to play victim and pretend like she was awful for it?

We need to be balanced. Accept the fact that we have had our trust broken, and our bond betrayed, but we can't go so far as to tear apart the people we loved, especially if like in our instances, we ended amicably.

I fear greatly that I'll be you in 11 months. From someone who is doing his best to get better every day, here's what I'll say.

Your Snapchat stories...your salary...they don't mean shit man. The amount of money you make? The attractiveness of the women you surround yourself with? It's shocking to me that you're surprised that those things haven't made you happy...and I mean that in a caring way. Those are tropes. When have they ever made people genuinely happy?

At this time in our lives we need to focus on our desires in a near narcissistic sense. What matters to me? What do I want to achieve? For me that's inspiration. I want to inspire those around me artistically. I'm a musician, a cook, a writer. My passions involve my hands. I've started to appreciate these desires more after I have been left. Those are the only things that will make me fall asleep soundly having achieved.

This doesn't mean I still don't cry...I still don't think, nearly incessantly about her....I's natural. Fucking oxytocin.

Let those emotions out when you can. It's okay to bawl. It's okay to cave. Just don't reach out, because the person you'd be reaching out to isn't the same as the one you miss. The one you miss is gone, and the only way to become whole after losing a piece is to look within yourself, not to the fantasy you desire.

Best of luck man, we all know how you feel.

/r/ExNoContact Thread