ugh I can remember days of that too with my ex. I'd lash out at him all fire and brimstone and feeling so confident that I was totally in the right only to have him turn off his phone for days and tell me to get lost and that he's 'done' and it's all over and I'd be wriggling in pain in my bed and screaming with tears. It was horrible. The thing is, when I look back, I just see a really broken girl who had her whole life dependent on this young boy who really didn't know how to handle himself let alone someone else. The more you start to have compassion for people and start to see their flaws and inability to be perfect all the time, the more you can start to relax into the idea that a) this too shall pass and b) no one is perfect and 'special' enough to put yourself through so much pain. If you start to look at it, maybe you might see that she's rightly upset now but one day, she won't be so upset and you can talk to her. Right now, it's just too fresh and a bad time. She's also probably struggling to decide how to handle this situation and her blocking you is just a reflex to get you out of her space right now while she can reflect and calm down. You never know, she could forgive you and you might just reconcile. It depends on how bad you were and if it's happened before. I have to admit, there were times my ex took me back a couple of months after an outburst and when I had even accepted that it was over and started to try to move on. There's no point putting yourself through too much pain, the best thing to do is to look forward just one day at a time and do little things like eat right and meditate so that you can get centred enough so if and when she does contact you, you're in the right frame of mind to fix things. I found hand writing letters would help me focus on everything and calm me down. I would write these letters to my ex and then think about how I really felt about the whole relationship and get some perspective. Like maybe this is a sign that you need to go to therapy, and maybe it's also a sign that your relationship is actually unhealthy. Maybe it's a sign that you don't have enough going on for you right now that this relationship is a lifeline and you're far too dependent on it. Start trying to form plans for yourself in the rest of your life and start trying to make yourself a stronger and more fulfilled person. Forgive yourself for acting out, and have self compassion. Love can make us all crazy, BPD or not. But also be accepting that if you love her, you must let her do her own thing and grow in herself. Maybe even ponder over the idea that you should go on a break so that you can work on yourself and be a better and more solid partner for her. There's no shame in realising that you're not ready for a relationship yet and that you need to work on yourself. And listen, it sounds awful, but girlfriends tend to come and go and sometimes who you think is 'The One' is really just a practice run for the 'Real One'. I only realised this after I lost 'The One', but if I had kept that idea in my mind while I was dating him, I'd have spent less hours crying in my bed and more hours working on building a good life for myself and learning to be happy on my own.