No I am at my core an introvert. I thrive around people. But, as soon as we get away from them, I’m exhausted for the amount of energy I put out. Not all introverts are that way. My hobby right now is playing a video game that I played for 15 years with people that I have played with this entire time but that’s on the computer. And most of them have retired so it’s not really even the same. I’m not working right now because of this whole pandemic. Like I said I have a need to be around people to an extent. I’m not good by myself. I do stupid things that I have tried and tried and tried to figure out and I can’t.

At this point I really don’t even know anymore. I just know isolation is one of the hardest things on your psyche. Studies have been done on it. People that are put in solitary confinement in jail have a really rough time of it. Right now, based on my own observation I am having a really rough time. I don’t have any more straws to grasp it. I don’t have the options I used to have. Some of that’s financial. Some of that is not having a car.

More I talk the more I realize how fucked I am.