She said she could never look at me the same way again, that it would hurt her too much to try and work through it because there’s no way she couldn’t resent me for it. That we were so far in our relationship that she wasn’t even close to having those thoughts, and that because I was it’s a complete breaking of our trust. I understand her, I really do, what I did was criminal, but I wish she could see past it and see all the amazing times we had as genuine and that they are a legitimate representation of my feelings on who I am and how I see her. People have second guesses after 30 years of marriage and actually act on these feelings enough to cause them to cheat when they truly didn’t want to, but we’re just confused like I was. They work through it and salvage the relationship, even after something that terrible. I know I didn’t act on anything and all I did was ask for some clarity, but it’s the whole thought that’s shattered our trust and I feel nothing but guilt.