I think the holding yourself back bit is a universal issue for entps. I'm a male entp and I've usually held back my humor around people that don't know me. Eventually I'll test the waters more and more but while this approach takes other peoples feelings in to consideration, it is also work.

No kidding I sometimes think that we could benefit from an ENTP discord but I don't necessarily know that would work. Because everyone is at a different maturity level you will run into the the people who think being an ENTP is just exhibiting trollish behavior as opposed to enjoying darker humor.

Anyway I guess the point is I feel your struggle and hope you can find a comfortable space to be yourself. /Rantover