See this is exactly what I'm talking about, you're engaging in motivated reasoning. The fantasy novel was a perfectly valid argument when it supports things you already concluded, but now when it doesn't support your argument it suddenly isn't valid.

I understand what you mean, obviously I have a bias. Still not really convinced about the book argument though.

But this is where we disagree. To me personally, orgasms are very cheap, I can get myself off whenever I want. Sure someone else getting you off is different, but all in all sex is more about having a fun intimate time with someone you like. I don't know where this idea that sex is you performing for a girl comes from. But it sounds like people who follow that idea have some really shitty boring sex. You make it sound as if you have to blow someones brains out with orgasms everytime in order for it to qualify as good sex. But it's not like that at all, sometimes its just about having some naked fun.

If you have a small dick. People usually just advice you that you can use other things to get someone off. I kind of implies that getting someone of is fairly important. I guess there is also a pressure to perform since there has been quite a bit of attention to the orgasm gap. Sex doesn't really seem that enjoyable to me since I cannot perform since I have a small dick.