Hey man, I just wanted to say that I really understand what you have been going through.

Almost everything that you have described applies to my teenage years. And it really sucks. Self-pity is maybe one of the worst feelings that one can have.

I hate to admit that I was really jealous of my peers and friends, because they had a basic normal life. They could buy new clothes, go out, buy games and books or whatever and it really sucked watching all that. And I went through all that with my head up, but I cried one time when my friends took a summer holiday trip to the sea(I live in continetal country, so we have no such thing), without me, because I could not afford it. And that thing maybe does not sound like a big deal to someone, but damn was I sad at the time, it eats you from inside. We had much bigger problems, like no heating during winter etc, but a teenage boy I was paid most attention to things mentioned above (which can be good, because no teen should have to worry about pure exstitention, which was inevitable at some point)

When I became an adult and moved from home to the capital for college(I had good grades and got a scolarship, otherwise we wouldn't be able to afford it), I started to work some odd jobs for a quick payment or some Part time stuff. And it really Got me on my feet and it truly helped experience some things I could not before. So in my experience it does get better, my friend. I am not much older than you, I'm 21, so I believe sincerely that you will find yourself in a better situation. Just hold on.

I saw that post about the guy selling his kidney for his wife's operation and then I thank God for at least giving me good health. As long as you have that, you can make plans.

Also one more thing, that could not really be figured from the post, but it sounds like you have a decent/good relationship with your mom. From my experience, I never held any resentment toward my parents because of our financial situation, they could not find a Job because of socio-economic status. I know that my Mom was harsh on herself, because of us having little money and I saw her crying a couple of times because she could not afford me some things. I want to say to you to be kind to your mom(if you two have a healthy relationship), as she probably sees what situation you are in and she is probably sorry. Again, sorry if I made some wrong conclusions.

It does get better brother, although you will have to put in some work probably. But you will be more prepared for an adult life, and it will pay off massively. You will be young in two years also. If you ever want to talk and just put some weight down from your shoulders, I'm here.

I wish you all the best, stay strong.

Posting this for the third time, it Is clear I am new to reddit and didn't see the edit button...