This is the exact reason why I am questioning whether or not continuing on my path to being a self-taught developer. Experiencing a little bit of sunk-cost fallacy because all of the work that I put in and hours upon hours upon HOURSS of sitting in front of my laptop of the past year and giving that all up, but I see posts like this and I really deeply question if I am spending my time on the right things. Sucks! Maybe i'll go be a writer or starving artist because as you explained, the constant anxiety and mind racing to understand something new for eternity and never quite feeling like you understand stuff doesn't sound very rewarding or comforting lol.