The benefits of nofap are slow, but cumulative

It's been a little over 4 years for me. Since then I've had a girlfriend for much of the time (no longer) so it hasn't been too hard to resist myself. Now single, I can go a number of weeks before I get anxious, anxious that I won't be able to resist--that urge, it mounts after 3 or 4 weeks (at least for me). So I stay on top of it: I prioritize dating, but also, I've found my ways. I have relationships with women I don't look to be with, to even date, and it's honest and understood--but kind of sad. But I go and get "it," that release, because I really, really don't want to jerk off, ever again. I don't know what to make of this. My pursuits aren't dark, sleazy, robotic, or anything of that sort. But the feeling that follows release, with a woman you aren't crazy about, don't love, is lonely. The intensity passes, and we're together naked in this weird intimate way, again and again, and it feels off...

I haven't found her yet so now she's just an itch. I wish I wasn't still so horny.

Because there are benefits. I don't remember myself before I quit. But that first couple of weeks, months, the perks were so clear. I'd become able to look at anyone in the eyes with confidence, always. I'm comfortable in my own skin, more present. My thoughts are less inward. My self-discipline had never been higher (haven't had a drink in a year, a smoke in 6 months, isn't glued to the TV or phone, can take a walk in the park and be OK). I think ultimately it takes less stimulus for me to enjoy life; the world became less boring.

Because as OP mentioned, it's all cumulative. Quitting porn or masturbation is moderation, balance, as is keeping a better diet, exercising, or learning to appreciate the slow-paced, less high-volume form of pleasure from a good book. It trains our brains, ourselves, to want less, to be dependent on less. Eat less sugar, crave less sugar, enjoy a fruit every once in a while. Watch less Netflix, no longer compare your friend’s “boring” monologues to an episode of Game of Thrones—look them in the face. Likes via Facebook and Instagram are addicting. Be a little less limp over vanilla sex, it should be awesome.

But as I mentioned before, when it comes to my sex life/love life, I'm a little wandering. But the alternative is is that had I not quit, I wouldn't even be trying. I'm glad for that.

/r/NoFap Thread