Best friends reaction to my suicidal thoughts

My own best friend expressed something once that stuck with me. Sometimes he gets in this withdrawn emotional place, but in all the whole world I'm the only person who gets a tiny window into his suffering and his deeper layers of thought. He was having a fit about his past traumas, and he offhandedly expressed that it was hurtful and unfair that whatever he might be feeling at certain crucial moments, he has to drop all that and supply an excellent response or else deal with regret and worse situations.

Thats so simple and common, but it struck me. It was like noticing something for the first time in a place you go every day. I dont know anything about your friend and your situation, but I imagine your friend didnt mean to fail like that. Is it possible he, for any number of complicated reasons, merely did not produce an excellent response this time? Will his incapacity at that crucial moment haunt and traumatize him if it is used as a catalyst? Are you perhaps so understandably drowned in your side of the pain that you cant see his side of your bond as clearly?

Again, I dont know anything about any of this. I dont even know that it isnt philosophically righteous for you to be exempt from having to consider anyone else on the basis of your excessive pain. Maybe youre owed.

/r/SuicideWatch Thread