Bf [24M] is dieting but has requested that I [24F] stop snacking for his sake. Kind of annoyed.

I took a page from Katya on Rupaul's Drag Race. He talks about fighting his drug addiction and giving his urges a name: Brenda. Then when he feels the urge to use, he thinks to himself, "Shut the fuck up, Brenda!" Similarly, the proud feelings when he avoids an urge he calls Carl.

I started using this method when I was struggling. When I get that little itching feeling to do something tempting but I know is bad for me, I say to myself, "Shut the fuck up, Brenda! You don't run my life!" It made me think of the urges differently, like they weren't a part of me, and that makes them easier to push away. Similarly, at the end of the night after I resist a bad urge, I feel proud of myself, and I think, "Thanks, Carl. You were totally right, it does feel better to be healthy."

This is just a suggestion, as I know this probably sounds silly to some people, and it won't work for everyone. But like you've said in some of your posts, this really is his journey to get through on his own. It sounds to me like you are supportive in helping him, but he ultimately needs a strategy for choosing to do the best thing on his own. This strategy of creating imaginary characters helped me to not feel alone when I struggled. It also helped me separate those addictive feelings from my identity, as it's easy to slip into thinking "this is just who I am, this is what I have always done," and change that thought to, "No, that's just Brenda being a bitch and trying to hurt me. Shut up, Brenda!"

/r/relationships Thread