Is it a big deal that I use the women around me as mental models without their consent for the erotica I write?

You're right in thinking that what you think in your own mind is completely yours. But you've gone one step further and put it down onto paper, so to speak. It's no longer just in your head, and if it ever gets out to the people you've used, you could hurt them.

Maybe there are guys out there who have jerked off to me, but as long as I don't know, I don't really care. If they came up and told me though, or I found out some other way, I'd be grossed out beyond belief. That's basically what's going on with you here. If one of the women around you find out, the most natural assumption to make would be that you've jerked off to her. Whether you have or not is irrelevant. Your relationships with those people, whatever it may be, are probably going to suffer regardless.

If you want to keep doing what you're doing, you need to put a way tighter clamp down on your files. No more leaving it around unattended. Put a password on it, and never put it on the cloud in its unfinished form. You need to be absolutely sure that no one will ever connect the dots and realize that they're the one in the story.

Also, fuck your coworker for going through your stuff without your permission.

/r/TooAfraidToAsk Thread