Bill Burr gives RP advice to a man dealing with a flirty woman at work

Until a while ago I hadn't actually considered how much a woman (conciously) use game as well. Obviously they don't use the same techniques as men and they have different end goals (eg. recruiting men for validation/excitement).

A girl at my job, who's in a LTR and who I still work with today, had manipulated me into a oneitis 4 years ago. The confusion and depression that followed was so immense, I couldn't understand what was going on. "does she like me?", "should I make a move?", "cant be though... but she's giving me all these signs!". I was very much game unaware and blue pilled.

Lets call her style the "introverted black widow style":

  • Playing the emotionally fragile woman inducing the reflex of wanting to "fix her".
  • Damsel in distress: I had to train her on the job so this was a no brainer, but the questions were so retarded which, in hindsight, made it obvious.
  • Making it seem like she isn't satisfied with her current relationship or she's bored in her private life while she's actually not.
  • Every time a new girl entered the office she would slightly up her game (eg. saying stuff like "I'm jealous when you talk to her" or she would start leaving paper notes with hearts on them), keeping me around her orbit and not into some other girl's.
  • An important aspect of her game is that she uses her shyness and introvertedness, her girlyness whenever it suits her. This allows her to be overly emotionally manipulative while getting away with it because she creates this personae of "that's just my feminine mystique".
  • When she thinks her manipulative games are about to blow up in her face she retreats to her feminist dogmas as a way to disguise her true nature. Queue feminist "creepy men are harassing me" articles on facebook.

In that moment, it was soul crushing to be kept into orbit like that. These woman know our biological instincts very well and use it against us just as ruthlessly as some pickup artists are claimed to do.

Eventually I spilled my beta feelings on here, completely turning her off. I was kicked out of her orbit. Disbelief and depression followed. I found TRP, learned game, fitness, read books etc... Over a 2 year period my SMV steadily increased till a point where I suddenly entered a new realm of existence. Now, random men on the street greet me on a consistent basis (as a beta, strangers hardly ever did this). I experience girls frantically giggling just by looking at them quite regularly. There's a (rather dumb) slutty party girl at my job asking me out every single week, pubicly. etc...

Back to the girl who gave me oneitis. She obviously noticed my increased SMV. She had also experienced some of the game techniques I had learned giving her the "tingles" (she called it 'like being on heroin') and she tried to lure me back into her orbit, maybe more. At this point however she expected me to no longer work as an oxytocine generator but as a dopamine bot. She expected me to be fun and outgoing and manly all the time and she would give me a hard time when I wasn't creating these emotions (eg. flirting with other guys, stalking me to events where she would bring her boyfriend to induce a jealous reaction from me, being bitchy in general).

The problem is... this is a workplace situation. Girls don't just go back to "acting normal" after stirring up so many emotions. You can't flatout tell them to "fuck off, leave me alone" and expect them to go back to friendly coworker mode the next week. Believe me, I've tried going that direction. It's not just desire which you can't negotiate. Jealousy, bitch attitude, passive agressiveness, machiavellian trickery... etc... it's not someting I want to deal with when I should be focusing on my job. Currently I'm learning more and more how to enforce boundaries and manage (other people's) emotions better. My workplace situation is currently stabilized, but I could've seen it go wrong in so many different ugly ways without the knowledge on this subreddit.

If this shit has happened to me, it must be going on for so many other men out there as well... scary.

/r/TheRedPill Thread