The slowing of the economy outrages the evil half of the %1 and out of frustration they create hedge managers. "We must limit access to these tools of evil as money will only flow towards them but never away." "By working together and employing some ethical trading as a front they can lie and insulate us and our better half from the anguish and horrors they will certainly pre-meditate on the ignorant lazy masses."
Body parts harvested from the corpses of those who jumped off wall street during previous depressions are thawed and carefully assembled on many tables around the room.
A silent oath is branded into the huge liver of each individual,
We will buy who we need to buy, steal what we need to steal, fuck who we need to fuck, build any obscure vehicle necessary, and slaughter or make homeless millions, to make a %10 return for our clients. The vast swaths of weak or undefended small business and individual wealth will be targeted through complicated mechanics to prop up any shortfalls. For personal and customer gain nothing is too illegal, evil, immoral, or wrong if you can avoid or delay getting caught. Politicians and government officials will be found that desire nothing more than to absolve us of sin so they can suckle the waste that drips from between the legs of lobbyists who in turn lick our fresh seed from tired dirty hands. A few more are easily distracted and that will insure our majority. No matter the wailing or gnashing of teeth from the suffering masses our political friends will look the other way as none are as poor to suffer any loss in quality of life. We will work in groups and assure that any fine, jail, or punishment is orders of magnitude smaller than what would make any sort of significant impact. Months and thousands for millions, years and millions for billions, or a slap on the wrist, our punishment will never be anything compared to our reward.
The tiny heart is branded with,
No monstrosity we commit will be by mistake for we are the best of our best and did not get here by accident. Our job comes with one final gift. The most expensive booth seats behind our customers to watch the world burn for the last time before succumbing to the fire.
And the brain,
We brought to life by the demon seed evolution of the evil half of global corporate operators. We are free of the slowing shackles of employees, structures, and raw materials. Able to spread our death at the speed of information we hide within a jungle of numbers and outdated, manipulated, or broken laws. Remember our evil has no end as we will burn the lives of millions while we dangle the market itself over certain death to insure our returns. Furthermore, we are evil on levels that far surpass such simple things as murders, rapists, or pedophiles. The individual impact they have pales in comparison to our work. We tear the economys, health, and retirement from entire civilizations. We cause hidden death and suffering on a global scale. As our hero Stalin once said, "One death is a tragedy; one million is a statistic."
"We stitch up the body with wire from $1000 a foot audio cable and glue a large golden parachute to the back." "Put a securitized half a million dollar home loan filled out to a family that makes thirty thousand a year in the left pocket and a hundred thousand US Treasury note in the right so it does not tip over right away." "Turn it upside down and pour some cocaine in the nose." "Finally take it to the beach and shake it till the eyes turn red and it begins to vomit crude oil." "Then you know your hedge manager is alive."
After short gulf-stream flight and limo ride to the beach everyone gathers round as the first wretched corpse seizures to life. The sickeningly sweet odor and icy glare delights the group. The first hedge manager delicately touches a leathery wrinkled face and stumbles forward through the red moonlit beach sand toward the statue of liberty in the distance.