Bisexual Female here, how do I find out if a girl I am attracted to is interested in females without being straightforward?

Let me explain myself a little better.

I made sure once I noticed I was being flirted with (hand on knee, etc) I told her straight away I wasn't interested but because I wasn't expecting this experience I freaked out and made rash decisions. I'm sure if she just asked me out right I'd have answered rationally, maybe a bit awkwardly and choppy, but because I was getting conflicting signals my fight or flight kicked in, and I just responded.

In no way did I mean to offend them or even you by my reaction but that is what that was, my reaction. Was it the best? I don't know but this is how I handled these situations. This is what I wanted OP to know because this is one way this situation could go. I'm hoping as time passes others or even you can give her your reactions or experiences to better handle this situation so she won't just have my experience but multiple people expressing themselves (both good and bad outcomes) so she can better approach her situation in a way she feels comfortable.

I'm not the most graceful person under pressure and when I feel pressure I pop. I'm not homophobic at all, I just don't know how to casually flirt back or gracefully sidestep situations. I tend to make them painfully long and confusing. The volume of my voice changes, and yes I said sneaky because if we're friends I don't expect flirtation be it from men or women. If my friend flirts with me I will react the way I've stated above because we agreed we were friends, I never agreed to be a potential love interest. That's way too much pressure for me in a friendship. And I usually physically run away from men who flirt with me in real life, because I can't handle the anxiety the situation they put me in causes me.

I hope this explains things a little better, if not, I apologize, this is all just my opinion.

/r/Advice Thread Parent