As someone who feels the same way, and feel the intense hurt over it, lately I find myself just marvelling in the beauty of nature, seeing the beauty in a fresh pear, learning how bees make honey etc. it's just so perfect/fascinating. I used to just melt at the thought of the dying animals, I guess I've grown to accept if people kill each other, how can we expect them to nuture innocent animals... We, as animals also deserve better lives, not 9-5 cubicle debt life sentence, we are also fascinating and beautiful, I try to lean into that now, I have hope the greater body of life will find a way, some humans too. Enjoy it all while I can I guess.