You hit the nail right on the head with your comment. There are people who do try to use the problems of non black minorities to generate animosity towards black people in media. It really is sad, but it's expected. There are many tactics of non black POC being used to put down black people, the model minority being among them. But I'll focus primarily on movies.

In addition to using non black POC, I have noticed that some people use the experience of black women in Hollywood to invalidate black male representation. Your experience reminds of a "conversation" I had in a comment section on a movie review some time ago. The person I talked to was so out of touch with race relations like you wouldn't believe. He spouted the typical right wing conservative talking points(even though he claimed to be libertarian). You know "racism doesn't exist, you're the real racist, don't be a victim, i know what's best for black people, etc". He even went as far to say that black people(especially black men) are violent, illiterate cave men. It's the typical racist drivel parroted by so many people on the right that was said than and probably won't be phasing out anytime soon. But he kept saying that black women have it very hard in Hollywood, and that black men should stop complaining as they are over represented. Especially in the MCU. You can see the obvious racism in his argument. I haven't been able to find a stat that says black men are over represented. Most studies used black people(as in both men and women) and the number of lead and supporting roles fluctuate from year to year. So it's not even a consistent phenomenon. Black men are not over represented in the MCU at all. One only has to look at the leads in these movies and shows up until Luke Cage and Black Panther hit the scene. And if I'm not mistaken, there have been only 5 black male superheroes in the MCU excluding black men with their own movies and shows. So that argument falls flat on its face. Now there is an obvious black female disparity in the MCU, and it looks to be changing with Spider-man Homecoming and Black Panther. These are steps in the right direction until a black female solo movie comes out(hoping for Storm or Monica Rambeau, but I'm open).

He also said that black men were only paired with lighter skinned black women and women of other races. Now I understand that colorism is a serious problem, and that is especially so in movies(Nina Simone, replacing darker actors and actresses, etc.). But you'll actually notice that women of color no matter the race are way more likely to be cast with men outside their race(especially white men). Men of color actually seem to have some trouble being depicted in romantic relationships at all. This actually seems to be such an issue that Will actually didn't even get his first white love interest until Focus. This is a guy that's been in the business for an incredible amount of time. Yet many black actresses(Halle Berry, Grace Jones, Kerry Washington, etc.) don't have problems with being depicted with anybody. I've also seen many black men in Hollywood cast black men with different shades of black women(Ryan Coogler, John Singleton, Tyler Perry, etc.). I've also noticed that Asian men do have difficulties in Hollywood. Especially when it comes to romantic leads. I told him this, and he completely denied what I argued and told me I was being ignorant of black women's problems in Hollywood and that everything I had said was just based on emotion in regards to black male representation and I had no proof. What is strange is that I had spoken about black female problems in previous threads and even in the thread. I even seek out out with media with strong black female roles, regardless of whether they are the protaganist or supporting. Vixen, HTGAWM, Scandal, and other media that have these types of roles. I'm also aware of how black female characters like Uhura are very important. So you can see these were very baseless accusations. He behaved as if you cannot simultaneously want black male and female representation. But it's clear you can do both.

So after he insisted many times over on his position on black women in Hollywood(especially darker black women), I decided to ask what he was doing to rectify the problems he talked about. And in typical fashion, he deflected. He says he doesn't pick his movies by the skin color of the protaganist(which is just rich with everything he's said up to that point) and that he won't be watching anything just because a black woman is in it. Unbelievable.

The whole time, he was essentially virtue signaling black women's problems in representation. And every time I had a conversation with someone who used the problems of other groups to bash the media representation of black people, it it always the same unsatisfactory answers you said. I know it's all anecdotes, but I've seen this way too much for this to be unrelated. On top of all this, the same guy actually said he'll watch Ghost in the Shell just to "piss off SJWs".