Blind

This is why techniques like grey rock are so handy - you can keep calm throughout the tantrum, and not react in an emotional way.

Narcissists are basically very unhappy with themselves, and so try to create drama and conflict all the time. But they need also to be seen as perfect, so will blame all this on others.

They also will try and project their own faults onto others. If Nparent is criticising you about things that seem not to relate to you at all, but DO relate to Nparent, this is what they are doing.

Their words and actions are actually painting a portrait of themselves (ie what they are REALLY like), so just imagine a cartoon or painting featuring yourself and replace with Nparent - you will have a perfect image.

This is also called being a scapegoat - or being the scapegoat child. If your parent has a need to do this, you will never be seen as yourself, but will have to bear the projections of Nparent. This will continue until you get away from them (and probably afterwards as well).

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread