Blindside husband or heads up on divorce?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm also planning to leave and doing it with a hand written note. See my story in this post is you want

https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcAbuseAndDivorce/comments/emdhqz/married_to_gaslighting_narc_for_75_years_together/

Before you leave you should have a plan. I've never been through this myself and am just at the beginning stages but I've done some research on what to do.

First, speak to a divorce attorney (don't tell spouse) consults should be free.

I'm just going to copy and paste the list I made for myself (kinda long, but I want to be super prepared before I take action) it might be helpful for you. Feel free to message me if you need some support! You're stronger than you think. Get out and be happy.

• Get a separate phone & phone plan

• Go to post office and obtain a P.O Box for your mail

• Pay off and then cancel joint credit card. (text him informing that it’s being canceled)

• Open new bank account at different bank & get a credit card to start own line of credit. *Put paychecks go into new bank acct

• Gather all personal documents and make copies of the following:

• Make a copy of marriage certificate

• Tax returns for me and him for the last 3-5 years including house tax return, property tax return(statement)

• Pay stubs from last 5 years which would be proof of current income.

• Proof of spouse's current income (Bank statement? Tax return?)

• your social & his social (copy of social cards)

• birth certificate:

• All documents pertaining to the initial purchase of the house

• Property appraisal

• Provide all documents pertaining to the house refinance.

• Bank statements from past 3-5 years including checking acct and credit card statements

• Retirement acct statements

• Mortgage statement

• Utility bills

• Car title/proof of ownership

• Copy of my drivers license

• Life insurance policy / Copies of insurance policies including:

-Home insurance for last 5 years

-Health insurance policies

• Automobile insurance policies

• Social security statement

• Outstanding debts

• List of my personal property you wish to keep and take pictures

/r/Divorce Thread