I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm also planning to leave and doing it with a hand written note. See my story in this post is you want
Before you leave you should have a plan. I've never been through this myself and am just at the beginning stages but I've done some research on what to do.
First, speak to a divorce attorney (don't tell spouse) consults should be free.
I'm just going to copy and paste the list I made for myself (kinda long, but I want to be super prepared before I take action) it might be helpful for you. Feel free to message me if you need some support! You're stronger than you think. Get out and be happy.
• Get a separate phone & phone plan
• Go to post office and obtain a P.O Box for your mail
• Pay off and then cancel joint credit card. (text him informing that it’s being canceled)
• Open new bank account at different bank & get a credit card to start own line of credit. *Put paychecks go into new bank acct
• Gather all personal documents and make copies of the following:
• Make a copy of marriage certificate
• Tax returns for me and him for the last 3-5 years including house tax return, property tax return(statement)
• Pay stubs from last 5 years which would be proof of current income.
• Proof of spouse's current income (Bank statement? Tax return?)
• your social & his social (copy of social cards)
• birth certificate:
• All documents pertaining to the initial purchase of the house
• Property appraisal
• Provide all documents pertaining to the house refinance.
• Bank statements from past 3-5 years including checking acct and credit card statements
• Retirement acct statements
• Mortgage statement
• Utility bills
• Car title/proof of ownership
• Copy of my drivers license
• Life insurance policy / Copies of insurance policies including:
-Home insurance for last 5 years
-Health insurance policies
• Automobile insurance policies
• Social security statement
• Outstanding debts
• List of my personal property you wish to keep and take pictures