Thank you so much for this post. I’m starting to get confused and flustered that SO is getting painted as a deadbeat or absent father which isn’t at all true. As I’m sure you all can see, as with my confusion I started posting new comments instead of replys - whoops!

I’ll be sure to edit my original post to be more clear. He sees them far more than one overnight a month. He has a schedule where he can regularly see them during the day while BM is at work. They aren’t school age yet, but his daughter is starting kindergarten in the fall. With them aging into school, him only getting one overnight, and no other real schedule in place leaves him open to losing even more time.

He is not a deadbeat. He didn’t claim a new interest in his children because of me. They’re 90% of what he talks about now, and since day one. They do activities together, play and learn. He takes them to appointments and classes. He does literally all that he can do, and wants to.

It’s the vagueness of the agreement, the lack of schedule, and the potential for it to get worse with her anger and them going to school that is motivating him. Not me. Sure she is angry about me. But that’s a her thing, not a me thing.