Bodhidharma AMA on "Beholding Mind"

When I look at my mind I can count breaths, heartbeats, blinks of eyes and get lost in the minutia of body rhythms. While doing this I can notice my thoughts that never stop between counting breaths and I notice the litany of my mind. So much insanity. Fears, quibbling pedantic sniping. MY MIND IS A JUNGLE OF MADNESS. So I giggle at myself (not if I'm high, when I'm high the paranoia is on steroids), and go back to counting breaths and shifting myself into a comfortable position.

My question is this. Is this a decent way to go about working on working on working on working on BEHOLDING THE MIND?

Would I be better served chopping some wood? Cleaning my toilet? The thoughts always peek in and they're so much rubbish.

Can I imagine taking out the trash with every breath, where the trash is my thought patterns swirling? Let the fractal wave pattern die down and eventually the water of the mind will settle, yes? But so what, right???

I don't want to just turn myself into a zombie. The thoughts are garbage, yes? But so is this idiotic silence, yes??

Where is the path through all this? I've already said too much, but hopefully I've given enough for you all to register how my patterns shape themselves.

Someone please come put a cool cloth upon my neck and calm this beast. Or shoot a gom jabbar into my neck and pacify this beast. Or smack me on the ass and drive the bull completely from his pen. Or help guide my hand so I can punch a hole in this bamboo bucket and pour myself out.

I'm so full. Full of beans. Full of BS. Full of fullness and it's exhausting. Help me exhaust myself. Help me mount some headers so my exhaust can flow better. Flowmasters come teach me to master my flow.

"People that speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch" -- Melvin Udall.

Thank you for your time.

Love n' kisses

/r/zen Thread