Found this in a red orchestra thead:

Relevant:

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war. A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, we don't have enough rifles. What am I going to use for the war?"

"I don't have time to deal with this right now" the lieutenant thought.

He grabbed a broom, sawed off the bottom, and handed it to the solder. "Here use this instead."

"How is this going to work?"

"When you see the bad guys coming at you, just point it at them and say 'Bangity-Bangity-Bang."

So the private ran out with his new "rifle". But soon he came running back to the Lieutenant saying "Lieutenant, we don't have enough bayonets!"

The Lieutenant grabbed a piece of string off of his desk and gave it the private. "When you see the bad guys coming just throw this at them and say 'Stabbity, Stabbity, Stab.' "

So the private was all ready for his war. He was sitting in a fox hole, hating being out there, when he saw an enemy creeping along the top of a nearby hill.

He grabbed his broom, pointed it at the bad guy and said "Bangity-Bangity-Bang. Bangity-Bangity-Bang," and he fell down dead.

"Wow this really works," thought the private. He started going through the underbrush when another enemy jumped out and try to gut him - he threw his string at him and said, "Stabbity-Stabbity-Stab!" The enemy fell down, dead.

Pretty soon, he saw another guy rampaging through the woods. He pointed his broomstick at him and yelled, "Bangity-Bangity-Bang!" Nothing, so he did it again, "Bangity-Bangity-Bang!" The guy was running at him now. He threw the string, "Stabbity, Stabbity, Stab!" The enemy kept running at him and plowed him over, mortally wounding him.

Then he heard the big guy mumbling as he went past him, "Tankity-Tankity-Tank. Tankity-Tankity-Tank.. Tankity-Tankity-Tank."