I have the reverse eating disorder of what you have, although I never wanted to lose weight. I got severe anxiety when I was 16 after a move and divorce of my parents. I would get so nervous sometimes that I'd throw up. I started to become so afraid of throwing up that I'd only eat in my room where I had an Xbox to distract me from anything else. That and sleeping were pretty much the only ways I could keep from being anxious. And holding my dog :) Eventually I lost a huge amount of weight, i refused to eat anywhere that wasn't home. I still had to leave the house so I'd just hold my hunger. You can see how I lost a lot of weight. I got so low that I had to be admitted to a hospital, then a psychiatric hospital for kids with the same disorder. When I arrived the doctors told me if I'd waited even a couple of weeks my heart could have stopped. That was the closest I'd come to dying.

Through constant therapy things eventually did get better. I understood that my anxiety towards eating was illogical, and that the anxiety itself was illogical. Why should I have been getting anxious? I shouldn't have, and I didn't really realize that at first. If nothing bad was happening to me in the moment, there was no reason I needed to get worked up. Breathing techniques also helped me cope. I've gained 55 pounds since my lowest, and I'm aiming for double what I was.

The reason I'm saying all of this is because after watching this video, I noticed your June 8th video. The entire video was really great to watch. At the end, you said "I either succeed, or die trying." My anxiety had been acting up recently and hearing you say this helped so much for some reason, and I just wanted to thank you. Nobody should have had to go through what you did, but you're still here, and you're trying. There are people who give up after bad things have happened to them. You aren't one of them.