Books that helped partners?

"she's not there" was helpful for me and helped me see her perspective and be more supportive.

I want to add in a suggestion though. In your post you mentioned that her big concern was being seen as a lesbian couple. You may not be doing this, but please don't be dismissive of that. This is a huge transition for you, but it also changes her identity. Suddenly, through something outside of her control, she's a lesbian. She's open to being discriminated against and hated by others. She has to come out to her family and friends, her status is changing too. She may lose some of those people.

I just want to stress that when you're transitioning it can be hard to focus outward as much as you're focusing inward, but you both need to be there for each other. When she talks about those concerns, really listen and don't take it lightly, or feel like she's being selfish or attacking you.

I wish you both the best of luck moving forward. I hope I don't come across as too preachy, I've just seen a lot of marriages fall apart because of a lack of communication or empathy from one or both sides.

/r/mypartneristrans Thread