We hired an unpaid intern, who wanted work experience for her CV. She turned out to be this fundamentalist nutbag, who got all worked up about a small sculpture I had in my office.

It was a mythological winged lion, which she loudly proclaimed was a 'pagan image'. I told her she needed to educate herself in her own religion, as the winged lion was actually the heraldic symbol of Mark the Evangelist. This did not go over well, and a short but relatively heated discussion arose between someone who had actually studied comparative religion for a number of years, and an 18-year old religious fanatic who knew everything she needed to, and nothing more.

I finally told her " Look. You don't even report to me; you report to my assistant, so there's no reason to come into my office at all, you can simply communicate with me through her, which is as it should be."

This was just not good enough, so she went to my boss and complained to him ( bear in mind, she's been here less than a week). Because we were a pretty informal department, she had deluded herself into thinking she was an equal member of our team, and she actually asked him to make me remove it or fire me!

Because he was the coolest boss I ever had, he politely told her to fuck off and deal with it, oh and to do some research on the Freedom of Religion act, FFS.

Not good enough, so off she goes to the CEO, again, the coolest I ever had. Same story, only this time, she wants him to fire me AND my boss!

He was a wise and gentle soul and again, politely, told her that people had the right to their own beliefs, personal objects were allowed in cubicles and offices, and that she should learn that working in an office required professionalism the shelving of intolerant personal beliefs, and the overall understanding that your Mommy doesn't work here, so you must be a big girl now.

So she went to the HR Director. As there was a rumor that he was about to have his lips surgically attached to the CEO's butt, this of course, went nowhere, except for another brief lecture on office etiquette, and all that other meaningless HRBS.

By now, I'd been 'summoned' by both my boss and the CEO, with pretty much the same question: "WTF is this chick on?"

My answer, from my previous conversations with her, prior to her seeing the sculpture: "She used to be all fucked up on drugs, now she's all fucked up on Jesus". My CEO was 5 offices down, and I heard him laughing through my office door.

Needless to say, I told her that her services were no longer required, but that was another episode, or possibly a whole season.

I met her in a conference room, so she didn't have to see my pagan sculpture, and gently informed her that, not due to her strict religious beliefs, but because of how she had behaved in going up our chain of command, we didn't think she was going to fit in at this work environment, and should find another internship.

At this point, something completely unexpected occurred; she grabbed my desk phone and stabbed out a number on speakerphone.

Mom answered: she told Mom she was in my office being fired for her religious beliefs. The following three minutes of religious ranting convinced me where our intern got all her problems from.

The squawking quickly brought my assistant to the door, who, sensing good entertainment when she saw it, quickly summoned our boss to listen in.

I gently explained to Mom that her kid was being fired for what she did, not what she believed. She tried to get what she wanted by jumping the chain of command, and this does not work with adults. This again was about as productive as Joan of Arc trying to pee on the nearest faggot.

Mom threatened to sue the company for wrongful dismissal; I parried by pointing out that as she was not employed by the company, she could not have been dismissed.

She threatened to sue for religious harassment. I told her my love of the statue was based on my love of the work of Mark the Evangelist, which was bullshit, but a good point scored.

She stopped in her tracks: "You're a friend of Jesus?"

The observant reader will recall my previous reference to having studied comparative religions, which I did obsessively for many years.

"Why, yes I am, Jesus is very much a part of my faith"

"And what would that be, Lutheran, Baptist, Anglican?"

"No, Santeria: I am an ordained priest" (Actually true; I told you I studied this shit)

Mom's reaction was priceless; while all except Miss Intern were desperately trying to contain their mirth, Mom was screaming at her daughter to get the fuck out of there, she was calling the cops to make sure we didn't detain her, don't-even stop-to-get-your-thing-just-GET-OUT, type of horror movie reactions.

Little Miss Jebus did exactly as she was told, except that she was brave enough to stop by her cube and get her possessions, which I presume, her Mom burned the moment she got home. I gave her extra credit for this.

TL:DR Extremist religious nutbag starts an unpaid internship and gets pwned when she begins a program of religious repression.