Both our parents [50s] have abandoned my [21M] sister [11F]. How do I give her peace of mind that I won't abandon her?

If only you'd posted this a while ago, I surely would've suggested you to simply cut ties with your parents "completely" but, till the cheques part.

Next, for her birthday; I'd have suggested you on the very same line that, "do not and at all" think about inviting them on her birthday. Because, since she's their own daughter and would be (well..) knowing the very date of her birth, so "YOU" should've been strong enough to say/ suggest her that 'we are just not' going to invite them, and at any cost. "BECAUSE", that is only how she herself is going to become strong, emotionally and on her own. THAN become dependant, on 'you now', and JUST LIKE, how you are doing it all right now (leave the cheque part here, they're supposed to do that). And showing her and (very much) sort of, "begging" your parents to come over, be there for you both, etc. Even after their effing behaviour. It would ONLY teach her that how to be always, I just don't know what to say, a 'needy person', 'dependant', 'vulnerable' being. Go that all? It's going to make her a wife "like that" as well, if the husband, god forbid, become abusive as well.

And by the way, what were you thinking taking her along while you went about getting the cheques. Only to make her wounds hurt all the more? When you could apprehend it all, their behaviour. Even if she begged to meet them, you should've told, and now onwards tell her NO.

And "why" as well.

Let her grow. Well according to the season around you both.

And, just do not worry this much to "assure" her that you're here, and will be there for her forever. Because, well,

actions does speak louder than words.

And because I'm afraid, it might (or might not) show that you're 'emphasizing' it. Like imagine, a mother saying, 'hey, look I make the dinners for you, don't I love you, eh?' or say, 'I bought you that toy yesterday, so don't you think I love you so much?'.

So, don't please emphasize it. After going through it all, she all the more supposed to understand it all by herself. If not now, soon enough when she'd look back and recall who was there for her, in those times.

Lastly; she's way too blessed to have a brother like you I'd say for sure! Simply great!

Rather, whenever 'you' need some/ any help, just PM me. Without any hesitation, all right?

/r/relationships Thread