Speaking of boundaries, I just went to look at some old messages from my ex w/BPD. I can't believe how much he invaded my boundaries, and I can't believe how sucked into his crazy distorted world I was. There was nothing I could do to really truly establish my boundaries, I was a goner from the get-go. He was so manipulative. All he ever did was question, ask, and write about how I didn't love him, how I kept making problems, how I did this, or made that face, or acted this way, or rejected him, or made him feel unloved or not good enough, blah blah. It was always about me trying to prove myself to him, and I could have done that forever and still would be at square one. He NEVER actually understood where I was coming from - HOLY SHIT, he acted for so long like we were on the same page, then suddenly it was like we were talking two different languages completely. He was so traumatised from life that all I got was his insecurities playing out on me. I did everything to try to show him I loved him, until I couldn't take it anymore, I was literally going crazy...then I really did give him something to worry about, but he created all this shit. The extent to which he CONVINCED me that I was the problem and the abuser etc - I absolutely need more therapy to heal from this. He never gave me any breathing room, never any time to just do me, I always asked for space, then he dared to say I was the needy one. What a joke!