Thank you for such an in depth and thoughtful response, I really appreciate it. I think I mostly just needed to hear someone validate my feelings, something my friends/family are hesitant to do. I wont even broach this subject with my dad until next year. But your response has also helped me reflect and determine that I'm being overly self conscious and letting it effect my life.

I adore my partner and we have been through enough hardships together that I know we can withstand most things. We even traveled together and didn't get on each other's nerves (too much, haha). I know my feelings will fluctuate and being together is ultimately a choice, but I think I'm more scared of having another failed engagement and what people will think of me. I don't think this shows a lot of trust in my relationship and it's something I need to work on.

Thanks again!