You're describing my uncle. He disciplined the kids too but wasn't 'abusive'. All three of them were afraid of him though. My aunt wishes more than anything she could have seen the examples he set with their 2 farm dogs and ignored his words about he'd be so good with kids. Those 3 cousins of mine are so messed up. I love them but they are plagued by anxiety of fear of doing something wrong. Not just in my uncles presence, all the time now. He's a shit human by the way and the rest of the family hates him. He's threatened everyone a lot too. Told one of my cousins that he'd kill him if stayed too late at friend's house again (kid was 13 at the time). Imagine your own dad threatening to kill you. So far he's never tried, but that hurts a kid to the core all the same.