You claim you’re ok with him not getting hard sometimes, but you also have a history of telling him that not having a “healthy” sex life is a dealbreaker for you.

You know he has a lot of shame around sex.

You know your expectations put a lot of pressure on him.

The guy has to hide to masterbate for release.

Instead of being compassionate about this situation that’s embarrassing for him, you turn it into a “zero tolerance for lying” situation.

It’s going to be a wonder if he ever gets it up in your presence in the future.

You guys don’t seem to be compatible at all. He needs someone more compassionate & with an ability to discuss relationship issues without ultimatums (“dealbreaker”, “zero tolerance”) for non-DEFCON situations