How would you have liked this to be handled ? The day after I explained that I was upset and that was mainly my fault due to my insecurities and although his timing could have been better of course he shouldn't do things he doesn't want to and should be able to raise issues without me becoming overly upset. I spent the next few days in tears but had ligitiment reasons to avoid him so kept things light and bright via text. It knocked my sexual confidence so after using the opportunity to take a trip away for a couple of weeks I used a fake it until you make it approach and have got back to good sex just not as connected and 'safe' feeling for me. I've promised to never ask for oral again and have refused if he has offered. I haven't withheld oral from him as I don't have an issue apart from this reminding me that I am too gross.

I wouldn't break up for lack of oral. However, it has damaged my self esteem and I no longer feel disarable in his eyes despite him saying nice things which does damage our relationship.

I'm stuck as time isn't curing the issue, I don't want to leave him over this, I don't think discussing it will actually help / I'm worried it will make me look overly sensitive and make him feel attacked.

I think that you if don't like oral in general rather than just with one specific women that makes a HUGE difference. I'd be really interested in your oppinion on next steps though